It has become increasingly hard not to offend anyone on America’s college campuses. Say the wrong thing and the college president will have to resign and you will be sent home with a note to your mommy. Here are some examples of times politically correct culture just went too far.
1. College Newspaper Demands Free Tampons For Men & Women Who Menstruate
Last year a writer for UCLA’s student paper, The Daily Bruin posted an opinion piece calling for the free distribution of tampons in public restrooms. This socialist period argument had some sensible ideas like hey maybe someone should provide feminine products to homeless ladies so once a month their shopping cart doesn’t look like Dexter’s crime lab. However this is not the reason her post went viral. Rather it was the Editor’s note at the top of the entry that showed how completely crap-your-pants terrified the newspaper is of offending sensitive PC students:
“Editor’s note: This blog post refers to individuals who menstruate as women because the author wanted to highlight gender inequality in health care. We acknowledge that not all individuals who menstruate identify as women and that not all individuals who identify as women menstruate, but feel this generalization is appropriate considering the gendered nature of most health care policies.”
2. “Trump 2016” Sidewalk Chalk Message Treated Like A Hate Crime
College students equating support for the leading candidate of a major political party with someone drawing a swastika or a racial slur on the sidewalk might seem like something out of satire, but it happened this year at Emory University. The tender little snowflakes completely melted when one morning the campus awoke to discover that their safe space had been violated with “violent, misogynist words” written in chalk for all to see: “Trump 2016.”
The best part of this photo is that the protest leader looks like a Fred Armisen character.
A group of students quickly gathered to protest this “outrage.” They reasoned that since the University didn’t officially come out and condemn the Trump chalking that the administration was supporting Donald Trump for president and thereby his racist policies. One was actually quoted as shouting: “You are not listening! Come speak to us, we are in pain!”
The University President, James Wagner fearing for his job lest the protests spin out of control and demand his resignation, quickly ushered students into the administration office to listen to their demands. While it seems like his job is safe, he conceded to conducting a thorough investigation using campus security cameras to find out exactly which students drew the Trump slogans. Although after hearing the reasoning skills of his students, President Wagner should probably just quit anyway because he clearly fucked up with teaching these kids.
3. University of Tennessee Uses Gender Free Pronouns
The good folks at University of Tennessee came up with a plan to make sure that everyone on their campus feels more included by introducing gender free pronouns. This handy chart explains how you should address your fellow students.
So instead of referring to someone as he or she you should “ze, hir, hirs” and “xe, sem, xyr.” This sounds more like they are being indoctrinated into Scientology and have been given the L. Ron Hubbard glossary of crazy. What is great about this is if everyone starts using this system, referring to someone as Ze and Xe, eventually a situation will arise where someone will have to ask “Wait, so is Ze a he or a she?”
4. Amherst College Activists Demand Students Who Posted Pro “Free Speech” Flyers Be Sent To Cultural Sensitivity Training
In response to a professor at the University of Missouri not allowing a journalist to cover the protests at that school, some students at Amherst College had a counter protest, posting flyers around their campus stating:
“In memoriam of the true victim of the Missouri protests: Free Speech (1776-2015). Who is constrained by the invisible barriers of our generation’s safe spaces. Censored for the open forum of non-conflicting opinions. Trod upon to build a community of comfort. And violently persecuted for a safer, less vitriolic world. Let us honor the life of the first amendment, and the heroes that it protected: Journalists, Educators, Philosophers, and Free Thinkers everywhere. If you want to protest this sign, feel free. Because that’s why the First Amendment exists.”
In response the Amherst community came together with fifty campus groups holding a sit in to demand that the college condemn the posters and punish those responsible for making them. This included the fact that they would be required to attend “extensive training for racial and cultural competency.”
Hey what happened to those “free speech zones?”
5. Stanford Students Demand Transgender, Non-White University President
Let’s be clear, anyone should be allowed to be hired or take on any position they are qualified for regardless of their background or personal identity. However student activists at Stanford are demanding that the next president of the prestigious university not be a white person whatsoever, and not be a man unless that person is a transgender man. The student group leading the protest called the “Who’s Teaching Us Coalition” said in a statement: “We demand that the next appointment to the position of president and provost of the University break both the legacy of white leadership and cisgender male leadership.”
So you will be disappointed when you realize like I did that even “Divine” from John Waters films, had she been alive would still not be eligible to be the president of Stanford University.
6. White Student Called Out For Having Dreadlocks, “Cultural Appropriation”
Last month this encounter at San Francisco State University went viral. In it an African American woman can be seen confronting a white student with dreadlocks. The student who has since been identified as Cory Goldstein is seen responding to the woman blocking his path; “You’re saying that I can’t have a hair style because of your culture? Why?” To which she responds; “Because it’s my culture. Do you know what locks mean?”
If wearing dreadlocks is “cultural appropriation” there are a ton of stoners in high school right now who are going to be in big trouble.
7. Comedians Are Now Terrified To Perform On College Campuses
Seinfeld made headlines recently when he asked “What’s the deal with college campuses?” Jerry pointed out that he and other comedians have started avoiding performing at colleges because audiences are too politically correct. “They just want to use these words: ‘That’s racist;’ ‘That’s sexist;’ ‘That’s prejudice,’” he said. “They don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.”
If the guy famous for making jokes about airplane food thinks you are too sensitive you might want to check your privilege. However, this story from comedian Artie Lange on the time he made a deaf girl cry at a campus performance is pretty great.
A lot of these students are hurting their own cause by giving ammunition to their detractors. However, if you point that out you will be violating their safe space. Maybe they will listen to what this raving anti-politically correct lunatic has to say:
So basically he wants you to invite Ann Coulter to your college campus, politely listen to what she has to say and then nicely tell her to fuck off. Thanks Obama.
Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney