Fans of the kids show that mixed American and Japanese culture from the 90’s, The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, have received a first look today at the costumes for the new Rangers movie…and they’re already receiving negative reviews from the more hardcore fans.
First of all, if you’re insulted by an updated look to an already extremely aged tv show from the 90’s, you could probably find something much more important to complain about. The costumes aren’t THAT bad. Hell, they’re not bad at all. They all still have the different colors, the helmets with the weird silver mouths, only now they’re not wearing sewn together spandex that look like they were made by someone’s drunk aunt.
And since it seems mainly males are annoyed at the new costumes, those dudes are missing one really big point (okay, four points) as to why these updated costumes are clearly a huge win. The female Power Rangers actually have boobs now.
Good lord, who is playing these characters? Christina Hendricks and Lisa Ann? Shame on the you guys for complaining about this huge step forward in pop culture!
Meet the new yellow and pink Rangers! Just a guess.
Here’s the thing, we’ve spent the last 20 years looking at a group of Power Rangers that you can’t fucking tell a part because they all look like boys. Sure, there’s a pink and yellow ranger but Steve Buscemi was Mr. Pink in Reservoir Dogs so being an effeminate color doesn’t mean jack nowadays. Especially since we’re trying to be all gender neutral ‘n stuff.
Guessing game: Which one of these Power Rangers is a female.
Personally, I think studios should update more of their female characters to an adult level while they’re rebooting everything you grew up with. Even Stephanie Tanner showed off her rack in Fuller House in every damn episode! So here’s a list of other characters that should really get a pair of boobs too! Because really, only adults care about these reboots. Kids have no clue.
Supergirl should be SUPER on all levels. Sure, Melissa Benoist is attractive but she has the body of Henry Cavill.
2. Morticia Addams
There has yet to be as sexy of a mom in pop culture (intentionally mind you) as Morticia Addams. Might as well make that work on a physical level too, right?
3. Wednesday Addams
Let’s keep this in the family. Not to say Christina Ricci should’ve been sexier because that’s, well, that’s not right. We ARE saying that if they reboot The Addams Family, might as well make Wednesday more of a Kelly Bundy-type. The Addams Family isn’t really a kids thing anyway.
4. Marge Simpson
This one is a no brainer. Just simply Google Marge Simpson and you’ll see what the fans really want.
5. Tyrion Lannister from Game of Thrones
Sure, Peter Dinklage is great on the show. No argument there. All we’re saying is he could use a pair of boobs–that’s all. Is that too much to ask?!