We live in the age of participation trophies, but not just for kids – for parents too. The number of parents who think that their little angel is going to turn pro come their 18th birthday and ride a wave of physical prowess to a life of pussy and sneaker endorsements is too goddamn high.
Spoiler alert: your kid is never getting drafted.
Spoiler alert THE SEQUEL: your kid fucking sucks at sports.
But some parents don’t like having to accept the reality that, despite however many football teams or wrestling matches you throw your kid into, he’s still going to prefer playing princesses and Barbies with the neighborhood girls. Ain’t nothing wrong with being uncoordinated or learning how to talk to chicks at a young age, but when it comes to parents flipping their lids over how good/bad their kid is on the field, that’s where a problem arises.
Enter: Christi Lally, who accidentally got roped into a group message with soccer moms.
Realizing the potential for comedic gold, Christi went and trolled the moms by giving them a harsh truth: that her kid is better than their kid, that the snacks have sucked lately and that their kids can all go eat turf if they don’t agree.
(No, Christi does not actually have a kid on the team – she is purely trolling. It is fucking glorious.)
Now THAT is how you fuck with soccer moms – well, that and messing with their annoying car decals.
Strip away, young one, strip away.