The average professional football game lasts three hours and 12 minutes, but if you take out all the stops and only count the time when the ball is in play it’s only 11 minutes.
That’s right – every Sunday you’re basically watching three hours and one minute of filler. Imagine what you could do with that time: mow the lawn, file your taxes, search for hookers on Craigslist…the list is infinite.
Speaking of hookers on Craigslist, it appears that one guy may as well be my soulmate, as he was caught searching for hookers on Craigslist during his downtime at the Ravens vs. Bears game.
Craigslist’s new target demographic is old white Raven fans pic.twitter.com/zVQkYWKS9R
— Laces Out (@LacesOutShow) October 16, 2017
Sure we’re all laughing at him, but this guy fucking gets it. You scroll for hookers at home and your wife might catch you. Thumb up and down for prostitutes at work and your boss might see. Do it in the car and you could get pulled over. For chrissakes, what’s the point in living in a “free” country if I’m not able to find pay-per-pound poon whenever I want? Dude’s only mistake is sitting behind some nosy fuck with a good zoom function on their phone:
Protip: if you’re ever considering a self-described “HoT SEXY BruNeTTe BOMBSHELL,” chances are good that you’ll wind up with a cold overweight ginger.