In Russia’s latest attempt to take the fun out of everything, they have created a full length cartoon to show children how un-cool wizardry and fantasy really is by poking humorless fun at the Harry Potter franchise directly. Only their version has way more guns, military officers and anti-semitism.
In what can only be referred to as a mish-mash of ideals narrowed down to one storyline, the film tells the tale of two Russian soldiers being sent to Scotland in order to infiltrate a wizard community so they can rescue children who have travelled abroad, and are now a part of that wand-toting lifestyle. Their mission is to bring those children back to Russia safely. Of course these children, after having experienced a new world, now have negative feelings toward Russia and the soldiers must find out why.
The goofiest part of the story however is the two Russian soldiers must travel incognito as “students” in order to properly infiltrate the “Higher Academy of Occult Sciences”. Just call it Hogwarts for pete’s sakes.
But this amazing tale of pop culture annoyance isn’t limited to the cartoon that St. Sergius of Radonezh Charity Foundation has created. There’s a book too, which is apparently much more forward about its feelings toward anything outside of Russia. Titled Children Versus Wizards, the book goes on to depict skewed versions of J.K. Rowling’s characters as well as literally naming Harry Potter as a character in the book and stating that Potter is Hermione’s hormone-injecting, transvestite sister. Wow. They blame Harry Potter and his evil ways for poisoning the world, not to mention stating that there’s a Christian “Spiritual Shield” around Russia which is being weakened by the world’s interest in Harry Potter.
Oh, the book also goes onto mention Jewish men as its biggest villains with names like Leo Ryabinovsky, Kokhan Kosh, and “the famous American wizard Moisha Skopidofl.” Why do the film’s villains have to be Jewish? They don’t. That’s Russian entertainment for you.
Here’s a nice little pitch video for the movie in case you speak Russian. Frankly, I can’t watch this bizarre movie soon enough.
With all of that being said, I really hope this movie can be a big contender at the 2017 Oscars for Best Foreign Film. Would love to see Tracy Morgan play one of the Russian soldiers during the pre-taped bits.